Sunday, January 30, 2011

Update on My So-Called Life

Well not the TV show of course but my life. For those who don't know, I went to the ER about 2 weeks ago with a very rapid heartbeat. Everyone seemed to think it was anxiety & while that would be a logical explanation & probably is a big part of it, I didn't think that was all there was to it. So I went to the ER about 2 hours after it happened. Long story short, I apparently had a seizure while I was there, which has NEVER happened before & I hope never happens again. I'm still not sure I really had a seizure -- felt like I just blacked out -- but the doctor & nurses said I did so....I don't know. Anyway, I went to the cardiologist Wednesday & basically didn't learn much except that I need insurance. I am a procrastinator at large & should've gotten insurance and/or assistance before now. I think I was too stubborn or proud & still hate to admit I need help. Well, this event was a major wake up call. So Friday, I applied for the assistance and should have Medicaid/Health Choice this week, with the effective date going back to Jan 1 so thank GOD my ER & cardiologist visits should be covered. So! When I get my account # & make sure I'm covered, I can go get the tests I need at the cardiologist & find out what's really up with my heart. And I will hopefully feel a LOT better.

In all honesty (and this is something I didn't want to admit on Twitter except in DMs), the doctor seemed to think my heart problem could be caused by how much weight I lost. I'm sure you all know I've been working out a lot & trying to get healthier. Well, apparently I unintentionally took it too far. I lost too much weight. I don't want to say how much I weigh now but suffice it to say the doc said I was underweight. I swear that I thought I was eating enough but I guess that I wasn't. I just don't get very hungry anymore but I do eat 3 meals a day & have been eating a lot more vegetables, cutting down on the Diet Coke (well now I'm completely off it & coffee b/c of the caffeine :( ) & just trying to be healthier. Also, in all honesty, I was having anxiety about eating certain things b/c I feared having an allergic reaction like Abby did. We're twins so I figured we might be allergic to the same things so it was anxiety & stress I believe was causing me to not eat enough. In any case, I'm eating more now & not working out anymore until I find out what's up w/ my heart. I am leery of pushing myself too hard & the rapid heartbeat thing happening again. It was scary as hell. Anyway, that's my update. Gonna find out what's up soon, I hope and I will let you all know.

In good news, I have felt quite inspired lately to write my latest book and hope to finish it soon. Then, hopefully I can find an agent & eventually finally be a published author. That's been my lifelong dream and I'm determined to see it happen. I think this book is the best I've written, other than the witches books which are so not ready for publication ;) But maybe someday I can rewrite them so they could be published. We'll just have to see what happens, I suppose. Please keep me in your thoughts & prayers. I have faith that I will come through this stronger & hopefully with a lot less anxiety. xoxo