Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Motivation, Where Art Thou?

Wow I did not realize it'd been a full month since I last blogged. Back then, my goal was to finish my current WIP before the day I left on the NKOTB Cruise....ha. Yeah, that didn't happen. I still haven't finished it. I wrote a few more lines one day but since returning from the cruise, nothing. Zilch. I think I must have left my motivation somewhere on Half Moon Cay. I didn't even blog about the cruise itself, which I now regret. Of course I did tweet links to my sister's blogs about the cruise and we had many of the same experiences. But I wish I had written about how awesome it all was. It felt like a once in a lifetime experience although I plan on going on every cruise they do from now on. There was a unique feeling in the air and you knew it was something really special. I don't even know that I could find the words to describe it. Alas, the cruise isn't what I planned this blog to be about so let's move on....

Not only is my writing motivation gone - it seems all my motivation is gone. I had been working out 4-6 times a week and since the I guess part of the reason may be because I always called my workouts "Cruise Control" and since the cruise is over, maybe my brain thinks I don't need to be in shape anymore. But I know I do. I forced myself to work out 3 times last week and felt great but so far this week, I can't seem to make myself do it. For one thing, I started reading back over the book that got me back into writing in 2008. This is the reunion story of the characters I wrote about when I was 14-21, a continuation of the epic saga that permeated my high school and college years. This book should be several and is currently at a whopping 899 pages - 315,277 words (!!) I've been doing some minor editing but since it was written just for me and my friends' entertainment I'm not too concerned about how much my beloved characters roll their eyes and raise their eyebrows and use the F-word. (All of which are A LOT!) But this story is incredible and I truly enjoy reading it, which is why I'm unmotivated to do much else. Hopefully when I'm finally finished reading over it (now on page 564) I'll be inspired to finally finish the other story! Or at least work on the rewrite of what was originally Part 1 of this epic tale. Confused yet? Gawd, I am!

Anyway, the point of this blog was to find out what you guys do when you lose your motivation? Any tips or tricks anyone cares to share? I know what has always worked in the past for me and this time, those things aren't working! :( The cruise should not have worn me out like it did, shouldn't have made me unable to function at a normal capacity for weeks or months afterward! But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Someday I'll even write a story or book set on a cruise ship. ;) Okay I'm off to do some more reading since that's all I seem to be motivated to do these days!

PS - for those who haven't check out Jordan Knight's new CD "Unfinished" on iTunes or :D It's good stuff!!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Listening to my muse

Hell of a weekend, huh? I admit I was fascinated by the royal wedding (I've had a special affinity for England since my college trip in 1996) and rejoiced in Bin Laden's reported death (although I feel strange being happy a person is dead no matter how evil they were, I did feel a sense of relief & vindication, especially for the victims of 9/11). Unfortunately I didn't write this weekend in my current work in progress. Perhaps it was all of the excitement in the world over the weekend. I did read over it several times and did some editing but as for new words - zilch.
Strangely enough, I found myself inspired to work on another project: the retelling of the first book I ever wrote, started when I was 14. I wrote 299 pages of that story last summer and abandoned it when I felt no one was interested. I started working on my current work in progress soon afterward (which I still haven't come up with a title for btw) and I am determined to finish the (hopefully) final draft before I leave for the cruise in 10 days!!! EEEEEEK! :D Speaking of the cruise, it was while preparing our door decoration for the cruise that I became all nostalgic for the time period of that book - 1990. After we completed our door decoration, which looks awesome I might add ;), I found myself pulling up the old book and became engrossed. I couldn't put it down. I stayed up until almost 3 a.m. reading back over it. I guess that means I'm a pretty good writer. I found myself getting all tensed up and worried for my characters even though I knew what was going to happen. My iTunes is on shuffle and keeps playing songs from 1988-90. I feel my muse is telling me to work on the old book. So even though I desperately want to finish the current WIP, I think today is going to be a day for writing the older story, the one began in 1990 when I was 14. Actually, with the cruise coming up, it seems only right. For those of you who don't know, the cruise is with New Kids on the Block. It's going to be pretty darn awesome. And the door decoration theme is "Through The Years," hence the nostalgia. The original book was inspired by them - I might as well go ahead and admit that. I like to refer to it as one of the first fan fictions. BUT in the retelling the characters of course have different names and are different guys even if in my head, they're the New Kids. :) Readers can picture them however they want, of course. Anyway, I'm feeling inspired and am going to see what I can create.
For fellow writers: has a scenario like this happened to you? And how did you handle it? Would you complete the current WIP or the one that's been in hibernation for 9 months?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Title Anxiety

This is mainly for my writing friends but anyone feel free to offer me advice! Does anyone else have problems coming up with titles for their work? I am having the hardest time picking the title of my latest work. Actually, I've always had this problem. That's why the books I wrote in high school & college were known simply as "The Witches Books" Part 1 - Part 8. Creative, huh? I don't know why I have such problems coming up with titles. It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.
In fact, today I've been thinking about it so much, I can't even seem to focus on actually writing the damn thing. So instead of trying to write, I'm going to make a Walmart run (only because this town doesn't have a Target mind you) and hope that something about the hell of the largest retail chain in the world can spark my creative juices and I'll actually be able to write when I come back home. I will keep you all updated on if I come up with a title for the book. Hopefully soon I can since I was contemplating a venture into the world of self-publishing soon. I don't think anyone will publish a book called "Untitled" will they? But hey it's working for Jordan Knight to call his album "Unfinished." ;)
Does anyone have any advice? Or better yet, ideas for a possible title for those of you that have read the work in progress? ;) I'll give you credit if you help me come up with a title. Please I beg of you!! Okay off to hell -- I mean, Walmart.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Twitter: for the love of #pubwrite and NKOTB

Recently I have become part of a wonderful Twitter writing community called #pubwrite. Those of you who aren't writers may have wondered what this is. Basically it's where a group of wonderful writers, mostly self-published, gather to talk about writing or often not writing and have a few drinks. Alas, with my 4-year-old around 24/7 I'm not often able to take part in the actual drinking but I do enjoy the occasional virtual Guinness. :D Truthfully I enjoy getting to know members of the writing community who are actually out there doing it, publishing their work and tirelessly promoting. I admire them all and am proud to be a part of the #pubwrite group, even if only a small part at this point.
Since I joined, I have been writing a lot more so I know #pubwrite has served as inspiration. I try to write at least a few sentences every day. Of course this doesn't always happen but it's what I strive for. Right now, I'm reading back over my work in progress for the 1744th time and making revisions here and there. I am noticing more mistakes and feel that my eyes have been opened. Not completely sure what caused the change but I'm happy that I'm more dedicated. I'm going to make this book happen somehow.
Also, now that I'm part of this writing community, I've considered changing my Twitter identity or adding another account for my two different Twitter worlds: writing and NKOTB. Ultimately I'm not going to do that. I would not want to ever change who I am for anyone. Besides NKOTB is the reason I joined Twitter in the first place - how could I abandon my boys and all the wonderful friends I've made through them? I can't believe the thought even crossed my mind now. So all my followers must deal with writing tweets as well as the NKOTB world. ;) A lot of things are coming up in the NKOTB world that I'm sooo incredibly excited about. The cruise (29 days 4 hours from this post!!), the NKOTBSB shows in Nashville, Greensboro and hopefully Kansas City and Fenway, the NKOTBSB's going to be an awesome summer!!
Anyway, the point of this blog post was to say how grateful I am to be part of both communities. #pubwrite and NKOTB both feel like home. Of course, having been a Blockhead since 1988 how could I ever leave?! Writing since 1990 so again = home. And it's worth noting, I first started writing because of the New Kids. Well, them and my original writing idol Dean Koontz. I like to consider my first books the original fan fiction. ;) Those who know me know what I'm talking about. Those books were my high school & college years. :) Anyway, I digress.
By the way, my Twitter handle @twisted_writer also pretty much sums up my personality and relates to both writing (obviously) and NKOTB. Yes, I write some pretty twisted things so that part of it is accurate but twisted_writer also refers to the song "Twisted" from The Block. Although I've been tempted to change my name, I don't think I ever will. The name is perfect for me. I love embodying @twisted_writer :)
I've become a bit emotinal writing this post so I hope that you all have enjoyed reading it. I strive to blog more, probably about the writing. Getting close to the end of my manuscript and I couldn't be more excited. Wish me luck! xoxo

Thursday, March 31, 2011

I am going to try this one more time....been trying to post a blog for over an hour! Rather than retype it (again!) I will just say that I'm getting more serious about my writing. I've entered a contest for a possible self-publishing contract, which would be awesome! And it's a path I never really considered. We'll see what happens...

I'm also following more writers on Twitter and subscribing to writers' blogs and finding that it can be quite inspirational! I am going to make this happen somehow! I lost my inspiration for a few weeks there...I think I was on a high (and subsequent low) from my amazing Las Vegas trip. But I'm back at it now and have written at least a few lines every day since I decided to enter the contest. I think that was the kick in the ass I needed: the possibility (however slim) that I could actually get this book published. I'm very proud of it and think it's my best work. Hopefully we will soon find out what the rest of the world thinks....

And now I'm going to try to bang out a few more pages! *prays*

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Update on My So-Called Life

Well not the TV show of course but my life. For those who don't know, I went to the ER about 2 weeks ago with a very rapid heartbeat. Everyone seemed to think it was anxiety & while that would be a logical explanation & probably is a big part of it, I didn't think that was all there was to it. So I went to the ER about 2 hours after it happened. Long story short, I apparently had a seizure while I was there, which has NEVER happened before & I hope never happens again. I'm still not sure I really had a seizure -- felt like I just blacked out -- but the doctor & nurses said I did so....I don't know. Anyway, I went to the cardiologist Wednesday & basically didn't learn much except that I need insurance. I am a procrastinator at large & should've gotten insurance and/or assistance before now. I think I was too stubborn or proud & still hate to admit I need help. Well, this event was a major wake up call. So Friday, I applied for the assistance and should have Medicaid/Health Choice this week, with the effective date going back to Jan 1 so thank GOD my ER & cardiologist visits should be covered. So! When I get my account # & make sure I'm covered, I can go get the tests I need at the cardiologist & find out what's really up with my heart. And I will hopefully feel a LOT better.

In all honesty (and this is something I didn't want to admit on Twitter except in DMs), the doctor seemed to think my heart problem could be caused by how much weight I lost. I'm sure you all know I've been working out a lot & trying to get healthier. Well, apparently I unintentionally took it too far. I lost too much weight. I don't want to say how much I weigh now but suffice it to say the doc said I was underweight. I swear that I thought I was eating enough but I guess that I wasn't. I just don't get very hungry anymore but I do eat 3 meals a day & have been eating a lot more vegetables, cutting down on the Diet Coke (well now I'm completely off it & coffee b/c of the caffeine :( ) & just trying to be healthier. Also, in all honesty, I was having anxiety about eating certain things b/c I feared having an allergic reaction like Abby did. We're twins so I figured we might be allergic to the same things so it was anxiety & stress I believe was causing me to not eat enough. In any case, I'm eating more now & not working out anymore until I find out what's up w/ my heart. I am leery of pushing myself too hard & the rapid heartbeat thing happening again. It was scary as hell. Anyway, that's my update. Gonna find out what's up soon, I hope and I will let you all know.

In good news, I have felt quite inspired lately to write my latest book and hope to finish it soon. Then, hopefully I can find an agent & eventually finally be a published author. That's been my lifelong dream and I'm determined to see it happen. I think this book is the best I've written, other than the witches books which are so not ready for publication ;) But maybe someday I can rewrite them so they could be published. We'll just have to see what happens, I suppose. Please keep me in your thoughts & prayers. I have faith that I will come through this stronger & hopefully with a lot less anxiety. xoxo